WITH YOU - CHAPTER 1
We were going through a rut. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because the anniversary of a death was coming up. A death of someone we loved. Someone who we both lived and breathed for, only for it to end before we could take it any further than we already had.
Sunny Harrison and I had been together, although platonically at first, for years. We met in our early twenties, went through countless women together, and we fell in love, but it was a little more complicated than that.
Meadow Rodriguez came into our lives like a tiny tornado. She was young, much younger than us, but exactly what both of us needed in different ways. Sunny needed to dominate her while I wanted to fall to my knees at her feet and let her do whatever it was that she wanted to me.
She was the glue neither of us knew we needed. When we thought we were happy, Sunny was taken from us but, at the time, protected Meadow and our unborn baby from getting hurt. He risked his life and died while saving them.
Now, Meadow and I were married and the fifth anniversary of the death of the only man I had ever loved, was coming up.
Both she and I were busy with work but all in all, I missed Sunny. I missed my wife. I missed us. I couldn’t help this ache that had settled deep in the pit of my chest ever since he had died. No matter what Meadow and I did, it wouldn’t go away. I was sure she felt it as well. She had to. We went through each day taking care of our son, focusing on him and his needs, but forgot about us in the meantime. We didn’t talk about it. We needed to talk about it but every time I went to bring it up, it was like she knew and quickly changed the subject to our son, or work, or something else. Sometimes she would even distract me by using her body. Not that I ever complained but we really needed to talk. Sex was dangerous when there was other shit going on that we needed to discuss first.
We had been married for awhile now. We had a beautiful son. Every fiber of my being wanted to fuck more babies into Meadow. Even though we only had one child, I knew she needed a break. Maybe I should take her on a vacation. No. She wouldn’t want that. She didn’t like surprises. Not anymore. Or maybe she did. I didn’t know. I felt like I didn’t even know my wife the longer time went on where we were in this rut.
“Shade, you going to stare at the engine or actually fix it up for the customer?”
I jumped, spun around, and found Zillah Lister coming toward me. I cleared my throat, rubbing the back of my neck.
“Everything okay?” she asked gently.
I nodded, looked away, and went back to working on the engine. Zillah meant well. She was also my boss, although she would never say that. We worked together in her shop. Before Sunny died, I would work the odd job here and there, but ever since he passed, I spent most of my hours, when I wasn’t home, in here. I guess it was my way of staying connected with him. Zillah never argued and welcomed the help. I was thankful because I wasn’t sure what I would have done if she would have turned me away.
“His anniversary is coming up,” Zillah said, her voice soft. “Isn’t it?”
My throat closed, that familiar lump taking up residence. “Yeah.”
“You can leave. Go home. See Andrew. See Meadow. I understand, Shade. We all do.”
My eyes welled, my nose burning. Afraid that I would start blubbering like a baby, I just shook my head. The words wouldn’t form on my tongue. Truth was, I missed Sunny. He would know what to do. He would know what to say. I just wanted him. I wanted to touch him. See him. I wanted to talk to him one last time. I wanted to tell him goodbye. I wanted him to see his son. Our son.
A lonely tear rolled down my cheek.
“Shade.” A gentle hand landed on my shoulder.
“Don’t,” I snapped, shoving her away.
Zillah’s dark eyes widened.
“Sorry. I just…sorry.” Throwing the wrench down, I didn’t watch where it hit, and stomped to the back of the shop instead. Once I was inside the small bathroom, I leaned against the door and bent over. Taking deep breaths, I tried easing the anxiety rushing through me. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t go on without him. I couldn’t go on not knowing if Meadow and I were going to make it. As each year passed, the fear that she would leave me only grew and became more pronounced. It didn’t make sense, especially when we’d been together for so long already, but I could feel her slipping away. Or maybe it was me. Either way, I refused to let her go without a fight. I needed to find my wife again. I needed to find us. No matter how long it took or how difficult it had been. We had to work.
“Shade?” A soft knock sounded on the door. “It’s me.”
My heart jumped. Standing upright, I opened the door, finding the very reason I existed staring up at me. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself,” Meadow said softly. “Can I come in?”
I stepped to the side, making room for her to enter.
“What’s going on?” she asked, once she was in the bathroom with me.
Shutting the door once again, I leaned against it and shrugged.
Meadow lowered the lid to the toilet and sat, crossing one knee over the other. “You sure?”
I wasn’t. I wasn’t sure about anything anymore. The only thing I was sure about was my love for her and our son.
“Shade.” She uncrossed her legs. “Come here.”
Without even thinking, I went to her and dropped to my knees at her feet. Resting my head on her lap, I breathed her in.
“I miss you,” she whispered.
Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, but no sound left me. I snuggled my face on her lap, taking a deep breath.
I miss you too, baby. I miss you so fucking much.
But I couldn’t say the words.
“Shade.” Meadow ran her fingers through the hair at the base of my neck. “My parents offered to take Andrew for the weekend. They actually offered to take him Thursday through Monday. Now that they’re retired, they’re bored. And it keeps my dad out of trouble.”
I lifted my head, faked a yawn, and rubbed my eyes. But no matter how hard I tried hiding the tears, Meadow always knew. How could she not? She’s my fucking wife. I was an idiot to think she didn’t pay attention. Her father was a retired Navy SEAL. He probably taught her all this shit before she was out of diapers. Even her brother had been in the military.
Pissed at myself, I pulled away from Meadow but not before she caught my hand.
“Shade, please. I need this weekend with you. I need…”
I rose to my full height.
“Shade.” She tugged at my hand. “I need us.”
I looked down at her then. “You have us.”
She scoffed, pulling her hand away.
“No.” I grabbed onto her hand, linking our fingers and lowering back down to my knees. “You do. I promise you do.”
“Do I?” She cupped my cheek. “Every year, we go through this. It’s only getting worse, Shade. I’m worried. I can’t lose you too.”
My heart jumped. I had no idea she felt that way. It made sense. The first year was hard but as time went on, it only became worse. I was terrified that I would forget what Sunny looked like. Or forget the deep timbre of his voice.
“I’m sorry.” I rested my head back on Meadow’s lap because I didn’t know how to do anything else. It had been so long, too damn long, since it was just me and her. I loved our son. I lived and breathed for him, but he was getting older. Andrew was in karate and slow pitch. He was busy. Which made us even more so. “I’m sorry,” I repeated.
“I just want us. I don’t expect things to be perfect. No marriage is perfect, Shade.” She huffed. “Look at me.”
I shivered at the firm tone of Meadow’s voice.
“I just want some alone time with my husband.” Her thumb brushed over my bottom lip. “I want you in every single way, Baby Boy.”
My dick jumped. It had been years since she used that pet name, I almost forgot how much I liked it. But by the way my cock leaked at the term, I really liked it. I liked it a lot.
She tilted her head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You’re beautiful.” And she was. She had put on some weight since having Andrew, but the added pounds only enhanced her curves. She was wearing a white tank top that was tucked into a long flowy skirt. It was dark blue with small white polka dots all over it.
My gaze popped to hers. “Yeah?”
“I love you.” She gave me a small smile.
“Good.” I pushed my face into her lap, blowing out a long breath.
Her breath hitched. “What are you doing?”
Inching my hands up her calves, I pushed the material of her skirt up over her knees and to her thighs. “I miss you. I know life has been hard. We miss Sunny. I know as well that he wouldn’t want us wallowing but fuck him, we can wallow all we want.”
“If I told him that, he would spank me,” Meadow said, breathlessly.
I smirked. “You going to take over that role and spank me instead, baby?”
Her eyes darkened, her cheeks reddening. “Not here but that sounds like a delicious plan. Maybe this weekend.”
My body vibrated at the thought of her truly dominating me.
In the beginning, I submitted to her while she submitted to Sunny. But it had never amounted to anything more than just a few demands from her. When really, I wanted it all. Every dominant inch of her.
“Shade, the way you’re looking at me right now…”
Wrapping my arms around her waist, I lifted her and rose to my full height. Placing her on the counter, I kissed her softly on the mouth. “Lean back, Meadow.” I placed a hand against her chest, gently pushing her back. “Show me this pretty pussy.”
She chewed her bottom lip. “We’re doing this here? In a bathroom?”
I chuckled, nipping her bottom lip. “I need your taste on my tongue. It’s been way too fucking long. I’m desperate for my wife.”
Her eyes welled.
“Hey.” I grabbed her hands, placing soft pecks on her fingers. “We’ve been busy. Life has been fucking busy. I want this weekend for us. Like you said. Even if we just stay in, I want you.”
She nodded quickly.
“Now let me eat my wife.”
Meadow leaned forward, her full tits mere inches from my face. “Or else what, Baby Boy?”
A shiver raced down my spine. I missed this. Playing, teasing, just being ourselves. Not parents. Just us. Husband and wife. Shade and Meadow.
In a quick move, I hooked my fingers into her tank top and pulled her closer.
A soft laugh escaped her. “Something you want?”
“Fuck, yes.” I lowered the tank top, revealed her beige bra, and sunk my teeth into the full mound of her breast.
She moaned, pushing her chest into my face.
Cupping her tits, I nipped her flesh, marking her, claiming her. It would remind her that she belonged to me and I belonged to her.
“Shade,” she whispered.
I nipped her again, licking the spot soon after. Leaning back, I admired my handywork. Her chest was red from my teeth.
“Please,” she panted.
Shoving her back, I hooked my arms under her legs and brought her ass to the edge of the counter. “You better hold on.”
Before she could ask why, I had her skirt to her hips and my face between her legs.
A deep moan left her.
Breathing against her panties, I sucked and pulled. Even though the fabric covered her core, I could smell her. It didn’t matter that there was a barrier between us. She was wet.
I met her gaze.
Her eyes were dark, filled with lust, and begging for me to take it further.
As much as I knew she wanted it rough like we used to do, that could wait. Right now, I wanted to savor her taste and drink up the orgasm she would let me give her.
Placing a soft peck on her inner thigh, I lowered her panties and pulled them off of her before stuffing them into my pocket. “For later,” I told her, using the words Sunny had said so many years ago.
Her eyes shone. “I love you.”
“I fucking love you.” I lowered my face between her thighs, running my nose over her clit and inhaling. The sweet acidic scent of her desire for me wafted into my nose. No matter how many times I had gone down on her, her scent always left me wanting more. She could bring me to my knees just by smelling her.
“Shade, I’m losing my mind over here.”
I gave her a wink and covered her pussy with my mouth as soon as a knock sounded on the door.
“Everything good in there?” came a voice from the other side of the door.
“Yes,” Meadow cried out. “God yes. Everything is good. So fucking good.”
I growled, shaking my head and shoving my tongue deep inside her.
She whimpered, her thighs shaking around my head.
The voice laughed, the sound fading as the person walked away. Good, because even if the building was burning down, I wasn’t stopping until I gave my wife the orgasm she deserved.
“Please, Shade.” Her fingers latched on to my head, pulling my face harder against her. It was one thing I loved about her. She was greedy, damn near desperate every damn time for her release, she would do anything she could to get it.
Pushing my hands against the back of her thighs, I tilted her back. The movement gave me better access to her cunt.
“Fuck,” she sobbed, digging her fingers into my head and trying to ride out the pleasure my mouth was giving her.
I groaned, growled, and snarled against her. Going down on Meadow had been one of my favorite things. If not my most favorite. It was the only time I truly had full control. Of her orgasm. Her body. Her pleasure. Every single fucking thing. I could control when she was about to come. I also had a nice view of her tits from down here as well.
Her cheeks were a mottled pink, her teeth chewed her bottom lip.
I winked, sucked her clit between my teeth, and bit down.
She gasped, a gush of liquid leaving her body as her eyes rolled into the back of her head.
I soothed the slice of pain with my tongue. Repeating the action, I bit, licked, bit again until she was writhing and cursing. My name fell from her tongue on a hushed cry, but I knew that if we were at home in the privacy of our own walls, she would have screamed my name so damn loud, my ears would ring.
Once she calmed down, I kissed her inner thigh and wiped my chin.
Her chest rose and fell, a slow smile creeping along her lips. “Thank you.”
I rose to my full height and cupped her cheek before placing a firm peck on her mouth. “You never have to thank me.”
When Meadow reached for my waist, I stopped her.
She frowned. “But what about you?”
I chuckled. “Baby, you should know by now that I don’t do shit to get something in return. And besides, this is my place of work.”
“That’s never stopped us before.” She waggled her eyebrows.
I shook my head, but I couldn’t help the grin spreading on my face. “True, but no one needs to know about that.”
Truth was, we had both been having a hard time of it in the beginning after Sunny died. She showed up, shoved me into the storage room and had my dick in her mouth before I could stop her. I missed that side of her. The dominant side. I knew she liked it when I took control, but I also knew she preferred for it to be the other way around. She just never told me that. I often wondered why or if I had done something to make that side of her become dormant.
“I love you, Shade,” she whispered, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Good.” I smacked a hard peck on her mouth and gave her ass a light swat. “Now leave, so I can finish my work.”
She saluted me. “Yes, Sir.”
I chuckled. “Oh, I have to make a stop before coming home, so I might be a little bit late.”
“Okay.” Meadow smoothed her hands down the front of her outfit, giving me a small smile. “How do I look?”
Her cheeks were rosy, and her eyes held a glint of passion in them.
“Like you just had an orgasm.”
Her smile grew. “I can take care—”
A knock sounded on the door. “I hate to interrupt but I need some help out here.”
“On that note.” I gave my wife one final kiss before leaving the bathroom and actually doing what I was supposed to be doing before she distracted me.
Meadow stood off to the side, talking to Zillah while I listened to a customer tell me the issues they were having with their vehicle. Something to do with the engine. Maybe? Or maybe it was the brakes. I couldn’t be sure because in all honesty, I wasn’t really paying attention. I was too focused on the taste of my wife lingering on my tongue.
I heard myself tell the customer I would take care of it and went to work. Even though I wasn’t overly sure what the work was exactly.
I jumped, almost hitting my head on the roof of the hood.
Zillah laughed. “Distracted much?”
“Never.” I pulled the rag from my back pocket and wiped my hands. “What’s up?” I asked, noticing that Meadow was no longer around.
“Meadow told me to tell you that she would meet you at home. I was also thinking of closing the shop tomorrow. Tray and I wanted to drive out and see Bee, Tanner, and the kids.” She paused. “Did you want to man the shop by yourself or take tomorrow off as well?”
“Actually. I wanted to talk to you about something.” Getting the following day off, would work perfectly for my plan.