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The scent of something sweet wafted into my nose. It reminded me of the girls I used to run into at bars. With their made-up faces, too tight and barely-there clothes, it was like they bathed in perfume. A lot would say that guys did the same with cologne but several women I had come across were just as bad. If not more so.

Before I rolled over, I knew that I wasn’t alone in bed. I thought back to the night before and what had gone down, but came up short. Only snippets filled my head, and they were nothing worth thinking about.

Not giving her a chance to wake up, I slipped out of the random woman’s bed, pulled on my clothes, and grabbed my keys out of the pocket of my jeans. I didn’t bother waking her because there would be no point. It would end up being the same conversation we always had.

She wanted more.

I didn’t.

She would ask again because she always thought that by asking me more than once, I would give in.

I would tell her no and that I laid out the rules from the very beginning.

She would accuse me of leading her on.

I didn’t.

She would still try and press for a relationship.

I would respond with I wasn’t relationship material.

She would get upset.

And I would say or do something stupid that I would regret later on.

These feelings rushing through me were new. I never used to care how they felt. As long as I got what I wanted, that was all that mattered. All of the women I had been with knew ahead of time that I didn’t want to commit. It wasn’t in my nature. I was too young to settle down. That last part was a lie.

Truth was, I hadn’t found my person. The one I wanted to spend the night with only to wake up the next morning and do it all over again. The one I wanted to cook breakfast for, take on dates, have her on my arm when others had tried but failed.

I was ready to settle down, but I never told these women that. Most of them were clingy, trying and begging for more from me. They wanted things I couldn’t give them. I was saving that part of myself for that special someone. I just hadn’t found her yet.

I didn’t even tell the people I had grown up with that I was ready for a family. They probably wouldn’t believe me anyway seeing as I gave a few of them a hard time. But I was ready to right my wrongs and show them, all of them, even my own brother and parents, that I needed more. That I was ready for more. No matter the cost. I needed to find me a woman who could tame this raging beast within me because I knew that if I didn’t, karma would come back to bite me in the ass.

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